The first appointment was a WebEx call with my doctor.
According to my calendar, it was scheduled for forty-five minutes.
I remember setting time aside between work meetings, logging on, and waiting.
Then waiting a little longer.
At first I wondered if I had the time wrong.
Eventually she joined and casually mentioned that she had been on the phone with a friend before the appointment. It wasn't a huge deal, but it rubbed me the wrong way. I had rearranged my workday to make time for this meeting, and meanwhile I was sitting there staring at my screen wondering if I had misunderstood something.
Once she joined, the appointment moved quickly.
Maybe too quickly.
She walked through a slide deck explaining the egg freezing process, what the next few months would look like, and the general steps involved. She was professional, knowledgeable, and efficient. The kind of appointment that exists because it needs to exist.
At the time, I don't think I understood what I was signing up for.
Not because she explained it poorly. Quite the opposite. She explained exactly what would happen. But there is a difference between hearing the steps and understanding what those steps will feel like when they arrive.
The conversation felt clinical. Procedural. Another appointment on a calendar.
My doctor has probably given some version of that presentation hundreds of times. Maybe thousands. That's not a criticism. It's her job. To do this work well, she almost has to maintain some distance from it. She can't carry the emotional weight of every patient's story.
So she explained the basics.
I nodded.
I asked a few questions.
And then the call was over.
When I logged off, I didn't feel nervous or emotional. Mostly I felt like I had completed Step One.
Okay.
Now I need to schedule the orientation with the coordinator.
That's the next box to check.
At that point, the entire thing still felt theoretical. Like planning a trip months in advance. I understood the process intellectually, but I hadn't connected it to my body, my emotions, or my future.
It was just another appointment.
The first domino.
And I had no idea yet how many pieces would have to move once it started falling.